Sunday, April 13, 2014


"Hosanna!", they cried.
"Hosanna", meaning, "Save us!", "Have mercy on us!"
"Hosanna!", "Save us!", "Have mercy on us!", they cried a week before, at their hands, you saved them and had mercy on them.

The Jesus I Had Forgotten

Inspired by the experiences of assistant directing Godspell

     When I was a child, I was told stories of a man who healed the blind, walked on water, multiplied food, told the best stories, and came back from the dead(which made logical sense, I mean, if He could WALK ON WATER, then, of course He could come back to life). More importantly, I was told of a man who was more than just a man and still said, "Let the little children come to me." He played with children, blessed them, and defended them. I think that's why I loved Him as much as I did. He was full of joy and life and love. He was the best thing in the world to me. As I grew up, this view of Jesus was challenged by a view of Jesus that took away fathers and grandfathers and allowed me to be hurt and confused. I still believed He loved and cared for me, but more out of desperation than belief. I did believe, but I was shaky. It was, and still can be difficult to completely trust Him. Thankfully, my trust ebbs and flows but His love does not. As I sat, night after night, watching an actor play Jesus, years after my father passing, after many trust-shaking episodes of my life, that is what I remembered. I change, my trust shakes and steadies, but He will always say, "Let her come to me." Even after I have grown up, He will always be the Jesus I adored....and more.

Loss in Life

     For the first time in months, there is no need for a jacket. Grass is clearly visible. Trees no longer wear white. Birds chirp in the distance. Spring is arriving, life is returning. Yet, I still hear the crunch of dead, autumn leaves beneath my feet. The singular beauty of winter is melting away. While I am encouraged by the hope in the new, I cannot forget the loss in life.


Inspired by the text of&experiences of stage managing Good Person of Szechwan.

"Apparently, our commandments are fatal"

Can one be good?
Support. Encouragement. Tea and chicken nuggets. Company during a nosebleed. There was good.

"A good person is not easily forgotten. There aren't many."

Snide comments, stubborness, tense tones, unkind words, looking out for only one. There wasn't much good.

"Are you disgruntled? Do you disapprove?"

People are not always good. I am not always good.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy"

One made me good.

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

He showed grace.

"Go&tell Peter"

Maybe it's time to show a little grace.

"We've got to do better. We must, must, must."