Tuesday, March 13, 2012

(Somewhat) Speechless

I’m a writer.
I’m an actress.
I’m a Communication Studies major.
And right now,
I’m at a loss for words.
I’m dealing with really difficult, stressful, draining emotions that I can’t articulate to myself, others, or even God.
I’m going to God with my frustrations, but I wind up exasperated.
And right now,
I’m vulnerable.
I’m someone who relies so much on words to express myself, but all my words seem to just be a jumble of the alphabet.
I’m someone who hates debate but still feels the need to defend myself constantly.
I’m an artist who can only express myself through the tears that stream down my face, when I allow them to.  
And right now,
I’m choosing to believe that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.
He takes me on walks and sings me Disney songs.
He makes sure that I get a break from the stress of whatever it is that I can’t articulate.
He sends friends to encourage me and make me laugh when I’m stressed.
He gives me words to express how I have no words because He knows how much my total lack of words frustrates me.
He happily stays by my side, even when I try to walk away.
He holds my hand.
And right now,
I’m realizing that maybe I can’t speak the way I would like to because I’m finally starting to take my heavenly Father’s advice when He wraps me in His arms and says, “Sssssh….ssssshhhh….it’s going to be OK….ssshhh…”

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